Wednesday 2 March 2016

LGBT+ Sex Ed, and other things

Sam recently showed me an article on The Independent about "why lesbian teenagers still have sex with men" - and honestly, it was just weird. As someone who identifies as a member of the LGBT+ community, I find it really interesting to read things like this. I might be gay, I might be bi or pan - I still haven't figured it out yet. And that's okay, and who I have sex with is okay, and also nobody else's business.

So let's say I identify as bi, for the sake of reading that article and writing this blog post. I've been in relationships with both boys and girls over the years; always happiest and most comfortable with girls but hey, I firmly believe sexuality is a sliding scale. This article says "bi girls feel greater social pressure to have sex with men" - and let me tell you what I think. When I lost my virginity, it wasn't due to social pressures; it was the pressure of the boy I thought I loved, and who I thought loved me. Every male sexual partner I've been with, hasn't been because I knew my friends were out there sleeping with boys and I wanted a piece of the ""action"".

The boys that I've happily had sexual relations with has been because I wanted to. The girls I've happily had sexual relations with has been because I damn well wanted to. Because sex is something to be enjoyed, to relieve stress, to express your love and desire for another human being. I've never felt pressure from society or my pals to be sleeping with men, and I certainly don't feel it now. I know I'm not missing out on anything by not having sex with boys; I have a healthy and amazing sex life with my girlfriend. Sex now is better than it ever has been with men, because I'm happier and more confident in my ability to talk about what I do and don't like.

The report also went on to talk about safe sex; lesbians, apparently, have "riskier" sex than straight girls. You wanna know why this is? Because what is there in terms of sex education for people who don't fit into a hetrosexual pigeon hole? In school we wore beer goggles and put condoms on a wooden penis (not a nice looking dildo kind of wooden penis, either) but we didn't learn about or talk about other options. The pill was mentioned in passing but never the coil, the injection or the implant. We didn't venture into the world of dental dams or femidoms. Boy-girl relationships were all that were mentioned, and in school they seemed to be all that mattered.

I don't know what sort of sex education is available for teenagers nowadays, but I hope it's better than what was on offer for us - and not from a social justice warrior point of view, but because girls (and boys) everywhere deserve the right to enjoy safe sex, and to know how to do that.

Have you read this article? Let me know your thoughts!

Wanna see my thoughts on labelling sexuality?


  1. I haven't read the article myself but I definitely agree with you! The sex education that I was given only mentioned boy-girl relationships and as if that was the only thing that could happen when it came to sex and having a relationship with another person. I think it's disgraceful that we weren't educated properly and we needed to find all this information out by ourselves. In today's society, we shouldn't be labelling sexuality. Society shouldn't care who we are out having sex with because that is personal to our own self. What is important is that you are happy with that person whether it be a boy or a girl and that you feel confident around them all the time. Good post! :) xx

    Yasmina | The July Journal

  2. Fabulous post Katy!! Sex Education is something I am very strongly trying to move into the 21st century since I graduated university. There is still not enough discussion or confidence around the topic, especially in schools. I'd love your perspective on it from a LGBT+ point of view.

    That article sounds rather uneducated and was probably written by a heterosexual person with no research or input from the LGBT+ community to inform it. Silly 'journalism' if you can call it that.

    I'm a firm believer that sex gets better when you're with the right partner. Can't beat the connection between two people.

    Great post :) xo