On being offended...

If you were to ask people, my family especially, they'd say I get offended easily. I don't think this is necessarily true; I think there's just a lot to be offended by. I notice it, especially being a gay woman with mental health issues. Being the butt of the joke, if you will, means I'm the one who has a right to say if I'm offended by something. And nobody can take that away from me - if I say I'm offended by something, then I'm offended.

It really is as simple as that; it's a personal thing, getting offended, and what offends me might not offend you - and vice versa. Good: we're human, we're different, we have our own minds and our own personalities. But for someone to outright say that something isn't offensive, if it has offended someone, is unfair. For someone to say "well I'm not offended by X and I'm the in same *potentially offended group* as you, so" is unfair. Only you can say what offends you, the same way that only you can decide what empowers you.

If you've decided to reclaim a word - such as PoC reclaiming the N word, or plus size girls reclaiming the word fat - then good for you. But those words, and a million others that people are reclaiming worldwide, are still offensive to some people. And if they're offended by it, that's their prerogative. You don't get to tell them that it's not offensive, or it shouldn't offend them, or they shouldn't feel the way they feel. You don't get to police peoples' feelings.

Whether something is intended as an insult, a joke or merely an adjective - if somebody is offended by being described that way, then they're fucking offended. End of story.