Friday, 22 January 2016

You Do You.

I want to start off by saying this post is not in reference to anybody or anything in particular; it's more of a look at the general attitudes of some women these days. It seems, to me anyway, that being a feminist means YOU HAVE TO SUPPORT OTHER WOMEN'S IDEAS, CHOICES AND MOVEMENTS NO MATTER WHAT.

Personally, I think that's downright dangerous. If a woman has a great idea, you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be the first to share it, praise her, be her cheerleader. But similarly, if a woman has an idea that I think is offensive, distasteful, problematic - I'll call her out. And that's not me bashing other women, that's me telling a person, another human being regardless of their gender, that their idea stinks a bit - that they might want to reword things, or take a few days then look at it afresh.

There have been plenty of women throughout the years who have done terrible things that a lot of people have disagreed with: Margaret Thatcher, Rose West and so many more. Should we, as women, have agreed with their ideas and their actions just because they're female? Of course not. If you do/did agree with them, then cool, you do you. But the majority thought and still think that those women were dangerous/wrong/cruel and a million other things. When I see people telling me I should agree with and support other women always, simply because they're female, I wonder how different things would have turned out if Maggie T had had the support of EVERY SINGLE WOMAN, due to her also being a woman.

I know, they're extreme examples. But when it comes down to it, supporting another woman just because they're a woman is unhealthy and unrealistic - women have bad ideas sometimes, and that's fine. You've got to point out these bad ideas to help each other grow, and learn, and that's not a bad thing. I'd never in a million years suggest that you be rude to somebody about their idea/blog post/comment/job or whatever else YOU think is a load of rubbish. But in the same breath, don't be rude to somebody who does publicly disagree with another woman's idea (etc etc) - maybe ask them why they disagree, why they think it's a crap idea, why they couldn't have kept this to themselves or between them and the idea-maker.

Does any of this make sense? Probably not; but you don't have to support every single idea of every single woman in order to be a feminist. Plenty of women are still, without knowing, perpetuating misogyny and homophobia - we need to help each other grow, and be better people: but that's not always achieved by championing an idea you don't believe in, just because it came from a woman.

Want to see a family-party OOTD? 'course you do


  1. I found this post very interesting thanks for sharing! I personally believe that everyone should be treated as an equal no matter what gender! Everyone has a right to their own opinion but i never agree with any ideas that I don't think are right- whoever you are x

  2. You and Sam are my faves because of posst like this! I truly, truly think that both of you are brilliantly talented ladies (and not just because I love you both more than haribo!). You cover every topic so beautifully, and this post follows suit. You put your opinion forward but balanced it with research and maturity. Exactly the kind of post that leaves people thinking. A+++

  3. I liked this post because you're right! Equality doesn't mean giving people a free pass to be assholes and sometimes, you aren't going to like someone regardless of gender and that's okay.

    My branch of feminism is about giving people equal choices and opportunities but not if it hurts or limits someone else in the process. That's what I want to see but its difficult to put in to place.

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  4. I love this so much! Feminism is about regarding everything and everyone w/ a critical eye. Women aren't incapable of being shitty, and calling shit women out isn't misogyny. It's like people who argue that simply having women in Parliament is a feminist step - in a sense it is, but not if those women with power are pushing other women down to stay powerful (I'm lookin' at you Thatcher...)

    Great post! And nice to see another feminist-y blogger!

    Liv xx

  5. This hits the nail on the head. Whilst I wrote a similar post, I was too emotionally involved with mine and I think that comes across. Yours is a far more sensible one-which says pretty much how I'm thinking tbh. So much so that I'm putting it as one of my 'three posts you should read' in my weekly roundup this week, because I think it's great.

  6. I totally agree with this! Regardless of gender if an idea they have is bad then they should be called out on it. It doesn't matter whether you're male or female.