Thursday, 9 July 2015

Words about grief...

I lost my grandad just over four years ago, and I'm still learning how to process the grief. It's the most difficult thing I've ever experienced, and it haunts me daily. There's so many things I wish he could have been here for: my school prom, going off to uni, meeting Sam, exploring the world, seeing my blog, getting tattoos that he would hate, going after my dreams. I'm trying my best to learn how to deal with it, and as writing is my forte I've written about grief and I wanted to share it here.

I love you x

Do you know what it's like to lose someone? It's an entire ocean swelling inside you, but the salt water never quite reaches your tongue and it's six miles deep inside your gut. You'll never know what lurks that far down only that it thrashes like a tsunami, bringing shipwrecks to your fingertips on a daily basis. Beams of light stretch through the waves occasionally so all that glitters is gold once more, buried treasure in pressurised bones, limbs bent in all directions as you grasp at what should be, what could have been, what used to be and what never was. Legs weighed down by pebbles, hair caught with seaweed in the least fashionable way possible, sand in places you didn't know existed. Your heart beats with the same rhythm of the waves crashing against the shore - deserted until sundown when the bonfire starts and the dragonflies rhumba in the flickering light of the flames.

Grief isn't poetic, but poetry is what I do (and prose poetry like that above is my favourite type to write). I miss my grandad every day and I love him with all my heart and I hope he's proud of me and I hope he knows that everything I do is for him, and because of him.

Want to see more creative writing? 'course you do

1 comment:

  1. That's beautiful, Katy. You really have a lovely way with words. I lived with my grandparents from the age of 5 and lost them both within 6 months in 2009/10 and its such a difficult experience. I'm filling up writing this as they were my world. I'm sure your grandad is watching you and so very proud. Lovely pic :)

    Sarah x