Monday, 24 October 2016

Second Chances

Fair warning, this post is gonna be a soppy one, but I wanted to collect my thoughts. Second chances are rare, but I'm lucky to have got one with the best girl in the world - my girlfriend, who is the strongest, most kind and lovely and compassionate human being I've ever met, not to mention beautiful, talented, witty and intelligent.

We've dated before, a year in which we fell in love from a shared bedroom; we stayed in over going out, we watched Netflix all the time and rarely went on adventures. When we did, they were meticulously planned and filled with anxiety. And things ended - I ended things, for the sake of Sam's health and my own. I knew she wouldn't or couldn't get better if we stayed together in the dependant way that we were, so I broke her heart and mine too, and let her go. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make and as much as I pretended I was fine with it, I wasn't.


Time heals, and it did get easier but there wasn't a day that went by in which I didn't think of her, or love her, or wonder what she was doing. I checked her Twitter on the odd occasion, saw how well she was doing, and my heart burst with pride - I knew, ultimately, I'd made the right decision and as horrible as it had been, as horrible as it was spending my life without her, I knew it had been for the best.

And then, slowly, we built bridges - we became friends again, and it was like meeting a different person. Sam, but amplified; Sam with confidence, Sam full of laughter, Sam doing things and getting drunk and going out. The love that had never gone away swelled in me again, but I tried everything to push it away. She was Sam 2.0 and she wouldn't want me, this girl who was now everything I'd always seen in her, and she could see it too. Except, by some miracle, she did want me.

Blackpool, October 2016 - we went as friends and came back as girlfriends, ready to start over and give it another go and try again. And I'm so happy, so full of love and so determined to get things right this time, to be the best friend and girlfriend and protector. Sam makes me want to be a better person, to achieve my dreams and reach my goals and make something of myself and I really, truly, couldn't be more lucky to have a second chance at this. Just because things didn't work the first time around, doesn't mean it's not gonna happen this time.


So here's to us, the new us, Sam and Katy round two; we're both happy, and healthy, and full of life and love and potential. And here's to you lot, reading our blogs and watching our videos and watching us grow, together again.


4 comments:

  1. so happy for you both,i think the 2 of you are so awesome,love you both to bits xxxxxxx

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  2. This filled my heart with happiness! I'm so so over the moon you two are back together and I wish you so much love <33 xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

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  3. I know I've said this already but I am so happy for you both, I think the world of you both and am happy you're happy, love you both lots <3 xxxxx

    Zoe ♥ MammafulZo

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  4. Fucking hell, this is the cutest post I've ever read. So happy for you both <3

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