Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Recovery: a year on

TW - depression, self harm // this post is about recovery, but will touch on my experiences with depression and self harm. It goes without saying that you should keep yourself safe and not read it if you think it will affect you negatively!

Last year, I wrote a post about being 100 days clean of self harm - and a few weeks ago, I realised it's now been over a year. A long year, a difficult year, but a year nontheless. It's been a year since I threw away tiny pieces of metal, a year since I stopped having to sleep on bed sheets peppered with blood, a year since I stopped stockpiling plasters. And sure the scars are still there and they probably always will be - but so what? They're just scars, just marks on a body that's been to hell and back. They're just red skin, reminders of the past and how I got to the place I'm at now.

And that place? It's happiness. I'm happy - I've finished my degree, and I'm starting a masters in October. I've got good friends, a lovely family, a thirst for adventure and a passion for knowledge. I keep up with the news, I read books and I write poems. I binge watch TV shows and I go to events, I write mediocre blog posts and drink too much wine. I'm off my medication, I've lost a bit of weight, I'm confident and I'm happy. I learnt to cope using other methods; colouring in, self care, long talks with my friends - sometimes, the clichés are clichés for a reason.

Recovery is the greatest thing in the world; it's given my life a purpose, it's made me realise how lucky I am. It's made me realise that there will always be people who don't get it, but there will also be a hundred people that do. Hold on to those people. Grab life with two hands and run with it. Try and see the good in every day, as cliché and difficult as that may seem, because there really is good everywhere: belly laughs, finding money on the floor, when you hold a baby and it doesn't cry, getting a second chance at life.

Things get better. I promise.
If you need advice or support with mental illness, self harm or suicidal thoughts, click here


  1. Love this post, Katy (I may or may not be crying in work now).
    So proud of you! You're such a strong woman xx